Thanksgiving 2009

Thanksgiving found the usual suspects showing up at our doorstep this year to celebrate the holiday. Marilyn and I have ironed out our cooking strategy with the addition of a turkey roaster although much of the preparation still involves the outside BBQ grill.
Steve and Carol driving directly in from the frosty north brought Piggy, their faithful canine to the party. Piggy enjoyed romping in the large backyard but carefully eyed the large orange fish huddled in the pond before a refreshing drink. Convinced they weren't South American orange dog tongue biting fish, she began lapping up their home.
One topic around the table each year is the Christmas wish list. Each person states those things they most desire for Christmas. Groggy from the large turkey feast, most everyone else forgets what was said within the hour. This year Linda proposed a new method for Christmas gift giving. We would draw names and have only one family member to shop for. When we all get together on Christmas Eve, everybody would get one gift. It seemed simple enough.
Carol's family had used this method for years. The only draw back she and Steve observed was that December seemed to be "break up" month. If one of the family's significant others broke up with them and that person had selected your name, well, Cupid just stomped on your Christmas gift. Believing that all our family relationships durable enough to go another month, we drew names.

Jay drove here from California in his sporting new Chrysler Crossfire. He gave us rides around the neighborhood. Of course the question of the DeLorean popped up.
Jay assured us that he still has the DeLorean which was spirited out of Jim and Linda's back yard recently to a secret bunker in Southern California where Jay's sporadic restoration efforts will some day restore its stainless steel glory. Maybe next Thanksgiving it will be DeLorean rides for all.

I'm having the beef

The wedding reception cocktail hour was winding down and guests were seating themselves for the reception dinner. Marilyn and I finally zeroed in on our table which had only our spots vacant. Name cards perched on small decorative candle holders indicated who we were and by color our choice of beef or chicken. I tossed my cocktail napkin down and we seated ourselves. Immediately, guests around the table alerted me to the fact that my napkin had burst into flames. It had gone too far to pat it out by hand so I stuffed it in my water glass. With the napkin extinguished, I was able to focus on the next issue. My name card was also aflame and erasing my identity which may not have been a bad thing at this point. Grabbing an edge, I yanked it from the holder and dropped it in my water glass .
With all flames extinguished, I settled in to meeting the guests at our table who by now were removing their name cards from the candle holders and placing them a safe distance away. Aside from the ashes marking my place at the table and the faint smell of burnt paper in the air, dinner proceeded as normal.
As the server came by assessing each guest's food selection, I pointed to the red sliver of of my name card protruding from my water glass and said "I'm having the beef".